Monday, October 15, 2007

Disillusioned

During one of my many letdowns in the attempt to be a published writer, I questioned if I should give up on my two novels and move onto the next one since I'm having such difficulty finding new representation. One online friend suggested, "if you find this business too hard, quit." It was his tough love way of saying, stop whining (which, incidently, I wasn't--at the time). However, now I have to wonder if his suggestion doesn't warrant looking into? After four years of trying to sell my work (and now trying to find a new agent) I have to wonder if it's something I really want to do? Granted, four years isn't a long time compared to others, but for me it's been a lifetime. Do I really want to continue putting my heart on the line only to have it crushed with rejection? The last two agent rejections, from two long-time respected agents, both made it clear I don't have what it takes (writing-wise)....and really to be honest, I don't have the heart to keep going. I'm tired of being sad, depressed, hurt, second-guessing myself. I'm not a writer....at least not the kind anyone wants to publish.

Maybe the problem is I want it too much and therefore am psychically sabotaging my chances.

Another online friend is always talking about signs, so maybe I should start looking at them too.

I used to think finding an agent was validation that I could write.....now....not so much.

For now all I know is, this is too hard and I'm ready to quit.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

HEY! Enough of that talk little missy! Take a break and do some soul searching maybe, but don't quit. That's just letting "the man" win. Now, we don't want to do that, do we? NOPE!

Anonymous said...

HEY! Enough of that talk little missy! Take some time and do some soul searching maybe, but don't quit unless you're certain you could live without it.

Perhaps you need to quit writing the book you think will sell and start writing the book you would love to read! Maybe you're not a romance writer. Maybe you're a thriller / commercial fiction writer. Things to ponder eh?

Two things to consider:

1. Do you want to look back in twenty years and wonder "what if"?

2. If you quit then "the man" wins. You don't want "the man" to win do you?

Lynn Sinclair said...

I agree wtih Brenda. There's an entire world of genres to choose from--why not try your hand at something different. Yes, you might return to romance, but perhaps you just need to step back for a short while, take a breath then plow on. Best of luck, Terri.

The Romance Reviews

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